


Not my department

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, General au, M/M, Rhys is surprisingly badass when he needs to be, at least he shuts up and let's rhys do the thing, even if he bitches the entire time about it, jack makes his feature debut as a cave troll lolol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:11:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9564482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: Rhys having to save Jack for once. He's better at it than one might think.Prompt from anon:Imagine Rhys having to save jACK's ass. Imagine Rhys just dragging a wounded Jack through pandora mhnsgabaGUogv





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally on my tumblr [here](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/post/144900093480/imagine-rhys-having-to-save-jacks-ass-imagine). This has been up for quite a while there but trying to slowly migrate things here now and then:)

“This isn’t even my job,” Rhys grumbled as he tugged Jack after him.

“I’ll give you a raise,” the older man groaned.

“I’m not trained for this shit.”

“Just get to some cover…”

“Dammit.” Rhys was just trying to generally keep them going in any direction _away_ from the blown out factory. Routine check his ass. If he was lucky, the people responsible wouldn’t realize Jack’s body wasn’t inside the burning mess until the flames went out. And by then they should be long gone. “How do you feel?” Rhys asked the bleeding CEO.

“Like ten million bucks, kiddo,” Jack told him with bloody teeth in a grimace.

“Right,” Rhys told him with a snort. “If I can connect with Helios I can get us another shuttle out of here.”

“My hero,” Jack groaned with a huff as Rhys tugged him along.

The explosion had shell-shocked Jack pretty badly, not to mention the way his head had impacted with the wall. Various wounds were about him but none too serious. Jack was more dazed and disoriented from the head wound to be honest. Rhys had been lucky to not be as close when things had gone to shit, and his person just had surface scrapes.

“Why do you weigh so much?” Rhys grumbled.

“Heroes don’t say shit like that pumpkin,” Jack whined.

“Sure.” He wished he’d had more experience shooting guns. Or fighting. Or even running away. None of this was his area of expertise. And Jack, with his injuries, wasn’t going to be doing any of that. The man couldn’t even see straight, let alone move himself much under his own power.

“Where are we going?”

“Getting us to cover. How bad did your head hit that wall anyways?”

“You’re mean when you’re pissy,” Jack whined, hand at his temple as he tried to keep up on wobbly legs. “ _I’m_ the one that got a bomb almost up my nose.”

“Don’t remind me,” Rhys muttered as he grit his teeth, looking for somewhere– anywhere- to ensconce the both of them so he could take proper inventory of Jack’s wounds. His quick field-dressings were just barely suitable to get them out of there. They’d be easily tracked if Jack left a trail of blood, and he couldn’t allow that.

“There should be… One of the mines around here….” the CEO said as he almost stumbled over his own feet.

“There’s no mines on the map,” Rhys said, worrying over Jack’s injuries as the older man huffed, breath labored.

“We shut it down… Opened the new facility that just handed our asses to us,” Jack grumbled.

Rhys was following the details his echoeye was giving him, looking for anywhere that might prove to be the site of an old mine. Any holes or outcroppings or dug up hills. He needed to take care of Jack and keep working on establishing an uplink with Helios. Reception had already been spotty on this part of Pandora but without the facility’s signal boost he probably couldn’t even order a pizza.

Didn’t mean he’d stop trying though.

“Rhys…”

“What?” the younger man snapped, looking behind them at the mile-high trail of smoke in the sky signaling anyone to come and pick through the facility. They were moving too slow.

“I need to stop.”

“Nuh-uh, no way, we can’t stop, Jack.”

“I’m gonna hurl all over those stupid shoes of yours.”

“I’ll make you wear them if you do,” he threatened with worry for the older man. Jack really did not look good. Where the fuck was this abandoned mine he was talking about?

They literally stumbled upon the entrance as Jack lost his footing on dizzy legs, Rhys catching him before the older man lost what breakfast they’d had earlier on the way down to the shithole of a planet. Rhys covered the mess in dirt and worriedly helped him up, Jack smirking when he told him the mine was behind the wall of rock he’d just ruined.

The younger man was sure he’d lost it; either the blow to the head or blood loss or internal bleeding or something, but further inspection proved that behind all the overgrown scrub and weeds growing in the shade, there was indeed a hole there. Large enough for maybe children to crawl through.

Rhys didn’t want to think of the implications there, but he hurried the older man in, Jack’s gun in his hand in case there was any wildlife that had taken up house in the cool abandoned rock. He was lucky that they appeared to be the only things living about. He’d rather not waste the ammo.

Jack was lain down against the wall and Rhys checked him over for any new blood or still-forming bruises. His echoeye told him that the CEO definitely had a concussion, but no internal bleeding; his wounds mostly superficial.

The younger man took what care of the man he could while Jack bitched and complained and whined. He told him to shut up with his belly-aching when he heard motors. The CEO’s senses were so addled that he didn’t even hear it as it echoed into the shaft of the cave.

Rhys crept close enough to the entrance to actually hear voices over the sound of the motor. His gut dropped, thinking they’d been found. His eye told him there were at least two voice signatures, and the idling motor was of a Hyperion standard-issue open-roofed military vehicle.

The men, however, were not Hyperion. He didn’t need his eye to tell him that. He could hear their voices, and as he crept closer to the opening of the cave hidden with weeds and plant growth, he could see them too.

One was large, gun strapped to his back even in the driver’s seat, and the other man more slight, Hyperion grenade belt strapped around him as he stood with Hyperion binoculars to look out over the Pandoran earth. Filthy bandits. It appeared they hadn’t figured out where they were yet. Rhys hoped they’d continue on.

“Which way?”

“I don’t know man, fuck.”

“Well check.”

“I _am_ checking.”

“Maybe you should let me try those out….”

“Maybe _you_ should move your fat ass and let _me_ drive.”

The larger man took a swing at him to which the slighter man laughed and hopped out of the vehicle. He threw the binoculars back into the cab as he moved away from it. Rhys held his breath as the man walked right path the entrance of the cave, his presence still unnoticed.

“And where are you going?”

“Didn’t know I needed your permission to take a shit. Wanna come wipe my ass for me?”

The slight man laughed and walked around the cropping of rock while the one in the driver’s seat told him just how thoroughly to get fucked as he sat in the idling car.

Rhys saw an opportunity as he waited there, heart pounding but concern for the dazed CEO and his safety at the forefront of his mind. They wouldn’t survive out here if it just depended on Rhys. He knew that. They didn’t have reserve ammo or water and the next nearest outpost was too far to walk. Jack would never make it. Skags would get them first.

So Rhys let his eye calculate his odds, direct his hand, and he moved himself from the scrub, blessing that the bandit in the car hadn’t stopped the engine. No way would all the noise he’d made gone unnoticed otherwise. His luck was considerably increased that the large man had taken up the discarded binoculars and was looking out at the desert, a grin on a face that was missing a few teeth.

Rhys didn’t hesitate, knowing he’d have to act fast. Jack’s gun wasn’t exactly quiet, and he wouldn’t have a lot of time. He snuck up behind the vehicle, climbed up as gently as he could, and tried not to cringe as he brought the barrel right up behind the man’s head.

He didn’t allow himself to think as the shot went straight through, the bullet lodging itself in the window glass while viscera sprayed the interior. No, he couldn’t allow himself to think or let himself be sickened by it. He had to worry about the other one. That shot would have been heard.

Rhys didn’t waste his time on trying for the gun strapped to the corpse. The bandit _did_ have a small Hyperion pistol in a pocket though, and Rhys quickly grabbed it without looking too hard and jumped from the vehicle.

He didn’t know how quickly the other, slighter man would show. All he knew was that he was strapped to a shitton of grenades and Rhys didn’t want to accidentally set one of those off. He had to get the jump on the man.

He waited by the front end of the car behind the wheel, heart thundering and his echoeye telling him his chances of succeeding. _That_ was not a very encouraging number.

“Hector what the fuck man.”

Rhys heard the voice; his eye calculated where the man should approximately be. He didn’t have a choice, he had to just hurry up and do it. Should the other man see his dead companion then Rhys wasn’t too sure he’d survive a firefight.

Jack’s gun felt heavy in his hand as adrenaline surged in him, worrying his chances. He just needed one shot. One damn head shot. Who cared if his eye said that chances of him making it with no training and shaking hands from this distance was only 7 percent? Seven was a lucky number…. Right?

The man rounded the corner and Rhys willed himself to line up the shot, praying it would strike true and take care of their little bandit problem. The bullet left the chamber and the man looked at Rhys with widening eyes as he realized what was happening, his body reacting to the stranger in front of the car.

And then pieces of bandit flew through the air and spattered everything around them.

Rhys made the shot. He hadn’t expected to have made the shot. What he’d managed to shoot, though, wasn’t the man’s head, but rather one of the grenades on the belt. What the odds of _that_ were he didn’t want to calculate. Bandit explosion extraordinaire.

He threw up into the dirt before he thanked whatever was watching over him for not getting blown to pieces himself; or the car.

Concerning the car, he pushed the larger corpse out of it, letting it fall to the dirt as he dry heaved at the gore. He was shaking lightly from adrenaline and nerves both, but he was eternally grateful they now had transport with what appeared to be a full tank of gas. He was going to get them the fuck out of there.

He went back into the mine shaft to gather Jack, the CEO wanting to know what the hell all the noise outside was and why Rhys was covered with blood. The younger man explained that they now had transport, there was an outpost that he could get a signal up to Helios with, and that most importantly, they wouldn’t have to walk anymore.

Jack was glad about it all, not questioning much as they came outside and Rhys’ deeds truly came to light.

“Holy shit princess, you went and had a party without me.”

“Yeah yeah just… Get in the car. Mind the blood,” he told the older man, words somewhat queasy. He’d have to wipe off the inside of the windshield before they could take off. And also try not to puke.

And after that was accomplished, Rhys was looking green and pale and like he might possibly never eat again. Jack thought the younger man was hotter than shit, the mayhem Rhys had accomplished all on his own truly impressive.

“Ever tell you you’re my hero, kiddo?” Jack joked as he reclined in the seat, a goofy smile on his concussed face as they bounded across the Pandoran earth. “You need a hero’s reward.”

“Sure,” Rhys replied absentmindedly as the wind was no help for the metallic scent that stuck to his clothes. He’d be smelling this for _days_.

“I’m going to fuck the shit out of you once we reach that outpost.”

“You can’t even stand up on your own,” Rhys pointed out dismissively. “Just… Hang in there, Jack. Alright?”

“I’m gonna blow that pretty dick ‘til you can’t see straight,” he continued on with a pleased smile, undeterred.

“Uh huh.”

“I’m gonna give you the fattest raise anyone’s ever seen.”

 _That_ got Rhys’ attention. He gave Jack a sly smile as the CEO was giving him a quirk of his mouth, the look of admiration probably more likely caused by the concussion. Rhys didn’t necessarily care about that though, and only smirked at the older man in encouragement.

“I’m listening.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was fic no.93 when trying to reach 100 back in May of last year hahaha. Now we're working our way towards 200 borderlands fics on the old tumblr mobile hahah :)
> 
> Comments always super loved and appreciated <3
> 
> [my tumblr](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/) | [my fic masterlist archive](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/post/134979026515/poisonjack-ao3-fic-archive)


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